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From: Jeremy @ Home
Date: 17 Jun 2005
Time: 09:11:01 -0500
Remote Name: 4.159.167.124
Many apologies for not posting this on the homepage. Both my webmasters are out of town this weekend. But this'll work just fine (or at least it did if you've found it!) God Bless! ********************************** 6-16-05 Update Well, it’s been a hard week. My Monday blood count gave some pretty low numbers. Apparently my immune system was crash-landing: another pit stop along the road to recovery. I did catch a bug of some sort, and fought a mild fever for two days. This morning I was rather miserable, actually, and kind of sad. Body aches, headache, and this persistent pressure in my gut. Not to mention the fatigue… Funny how misery – however slight (when life was “normal,” a simple interruption to the comforts and conveniences of the day could qualify) – puts us at a crossroads: there’s always a decision to make. “Bitter or better.” Some people say it’s about attitude. I disagree. If God isn’t a realized Mover in your reality, then I suppose it is about attitude. But I know my attitude: it’s generally pretty bad. I’d rather be comfortable. I’d rather be naturally happy. I’d rather not have cancer (more specifically, I’d rather not have to do chemo). This morning I brought my bad attitude to Jesus. Boy, does He dress things up. He put my body to rest along the way to boot. I prayed. I watched Jesus and listened to His words as I read a chapter from the gospel of Matthew. My heart changed. I was suddenly crying with gratitude for so much. When you watch God as a bone and flesh, bare feet and whiskers man in this broken world (where people get sick, have bad attitudes, do things they’re not supposed to) you see and know the heart of God. It’s pretty cool. He did some things pretty quick-like (calming the storm, healing some sick), but mostly He worked patiently, even slowly. He taught about His Kingdom, and began building it in the hearts of what would become His People, one person at a time. That’s what He’s doing still. And Jen and I know beyond a doubt that what He’s doing in our lives is a good thing. He is changing my attitude, because He’s shaping me. He’s shaping us. He’s doing a marvelous work in our church. He’s alive in our family. I’m not sure I can put to words the comfort – even the joy – God has brought us these days. Much of it has come through the cards, gifts, emails, meals, and care that many of you have sent our way, but much of it seems to comes straight out of the blue – from a passage of scripture or a situation that just “clicks” (when things fall into place at just the right time, like they were scripted or directed) – God has affirmed again and again that He is in this. That this is His deal, and that He’s doing it for our good (that we’d be better made for His good…) I did go see the doctor this afternoon. The folks in the Cancer Care Center at Regions really rock. We did a chest x-ray: the tumor is gone. Wiped clean (it’s nice to have my chest back). My white-blood count is on its way back up, and I’m still scheduled to start Round 2 in just over a week (the next 4 rounds of Chemo are primarily to skunk the cancer and keep it from growing elsewhere – or ever coming back). But I do have a bug of some sort, and it’s up to my body to fight it off. I’ve also got this terrible mystery pain in my back. It’s what’s keeping me on pain medications. Crazy pain. My Oncologist said he’s really got no clue why I’ve got it. I’ve an assumption it’s got something to do with the fact that I was in bed for a month and lost over 20 pounds in the process – call me presumptuous – in any case, those of you who pray, please pray for my back. If this pain would go away I could ditch the pain meds, and that would help free up my digestive system to do what it’s supposed to so I could eat like crazy and get nice and plump for Round 2. I’ve got 10 days to fatten up like a Thanksgiving turkey. I haven’t gained much since the weekend, though I haven’t the pressure in my gut I had just days ago. I’m still enjoying food. In fact, funny story: Jen and I split a Whopper Jr. at 10PM a few nights back. It was with a certain degree of trepidation that we unwrapped the burger and put it down (and abandon, mind you – it was so good!), but since then I’ve felt much better. Of course you all prayed and I ate apricots and drank hot prune juice for three days, but BK? God “moves” in mysterious ways, indeed… It’s been a far more relaxing week than last (I’m still ditching prednisone) – which has been necessary, as I’ve been susceptible to bugs and all that – and I’ve many people to thank for the respite. Mostly though, Pastor Tom Gilman and the volunteer student ministries staff at Emmaus. This is seriously an exciting time to be youth director at Emmaus. There are great things happening, and we’ve got great people riding the wave. And I’ve a feeling, if youth ministry’s anything like surfing, we’re making beach bum lifers out of the whole bunch. I intend to see Star Wars Episode III this weekend. I’ll probably spend a little time Saturday afternoon putting my last unopened Star Wars Lego toy together, watching Episode II to get up to speed. The hype, of course, has died down (and I’m ready to see Batman), so I’m feeling the need to manufacture a bit on my own. My main concern at this point is that my mouth and belly will be up for a bag of popcorn. I love movie theater popcorn. Jenny and Aedan are awesome. It’s going to be sunny here in days to come, so we bought a pool for Aedan. He’s been so great! So happy and responsive to my being home… he dances, sings, tells stories, and laughs at every page when I read him Dr. Suess’ “Hop On Pop.” And he’s sleeping lots. Jen (if I may speak for her here) is rarely happier than she is when she’s home caring for her two boys. She just glows, and makes home such a fun and pleasant place to be. So, know always that your prayers are more than appreciated – they’re vital. When they’re prayed to the Living God (the power has never been in the prayer, but to the One to Whom the prayer is prayed) He hears and responds, and moves in the hearts and lives of His People, and by His grace, we belong to Him. That’s probably it for the weekend. I hope to write another more substantial “letter” in the week to come summing up this first month. Otherwise I intend to post another update early next week. Thanks again to all of you for your concern, and the time you’ve given to read all of this… Peace to you. Gratefully His, Jeremy PRAYER REQUESTS: Same as before, plus: ~ That my body would kick the bug and gain some weight. PRAISE: ~ That my GI isn’t as locked up as it was.